I sailed on Margaritaville's new cruise ship and probably wouldn't do it again

• I went on Margaritaville at Sea Paradise's one-night inaugural cruise.
• I was expecting the ship to feel like an immersive Margaritaville experience.
• Instead, I was disappointed by the lack of cohesive branding, the ship's age, and reported quality issues.

I sailed aboard Magaritaville's first cruise ship, the Margaritaville at Sea Paradise, during its one-night inaugural trip.

I was expecting a floating resort with all things Margaritaville, but the vessel didn't end up being the "nibbling on sun cake, watching the sun bake" experience I was prepared for.

When I first boarded the ship and came face-to-face with a towering flip flop statue, I was mentally prepared to be thrown into the world of Jimmy Buffett and Margaritaville.

Instead, I was confronted with an aging vessel that only had a few splashes of the company's iconic branding.

"There may be some imperfections you will see around this ship," Oneil Khosa, Margaritaville at Sea's CEO, said during its "christening" ceremony. "We are striving to remove those imperfections. We are competing against ourselves to be the best."

At first, I wondered why the CEO of a cruise line would mention the ship's flaws during a landmark ceremony.

But after spending one night on the ship, I now understand.

I don't think Margaritaville at Sea was ready for its guests.

The company is one of the newest brands to enter the recovering cruise industry, but the ship isn't as new as its name.

Before the hospitality empire stepped in, the Paradise was known as the Grand Classica, the 30-year-old flagship vessel of budget cruise company Bahamas Paradise Cruise Line.

When Margaritaville and Bahamas Paradise joined forces, the latter company and its cruise ship adopted the Margaritaville at Sea's name.

To turn the Grand Classica into a floating Margaritaville resort, the old ship underwent a "multi-million investment and refurbishment," according to Margaritaville.

Source: Insider

It's hard to hide your age without some cosmetic intervention.

Unfortunately, it seemed like my Oceanview stateroom — which starts at almost $200 — received almost none of it.

My stateroom's plain bathroom looked its age.

Nothing about it felt modern and new.

And the wood-colored accents aged the rest of my stateroom. Here, the only references to Margaritaville were in the four pieces of tropical wall art …

… wallpaper …

… a nightstand with a palm tree graphic …

… and a branded ice bucket, notepad, and pencil.

Besides my power strip that blew a fuse when I tried to use my hairdryer (my fault), my complaints are purely cosmetic.

But when I tried to use the public restroom on the pool deck, the flush almost fell off its mount.

Suddenly, the imperfections Khosa alluded to were making more sense.

But the ship's aging appearance didn't disappoint me the most.

Instead, it was the lack of immersion into the Margaritaville world.

Besides some signage and wall art that referenced Buffett's lyrics, the ship didn't feel like a strong representation of Margaritaville.

And remnants of the vessel's pre-Margaritaville life were still evident as I walked around.

Some furniture, lights, and carpets were unchanged during the refurbishment, according to pictures of the Grand Classica still available on Bahamas Paradise Cruise Line's website.

Source: Bahamas Paradise Cruise Line

And while the decor wasn't horrendous, it didn't fit with the Margaritaville look I've seen at its restaurants and New York City hotel.

If you're a Parrothead, you'll still be delighted by the names of the amenities aboard the ship …

… like the License to Chill bar …

… Port of Indecision buffet …

… and Stars on the Water Theater and Bar.

But don't expect too many additional Buffett references or Margaritaville themes past these signs and some lyrics on the wall.

One of the only exceptions to this is the alfresco 5 o'Clock Somewhere Bar and Grill, which has a statue of a giant blender, literal limelights …

… and lyrics of “It's Five o'Clock Somewhere” printed on the wall.

In my opinion, this was one of the only iconic Margaritaville spaces aboard the ship.

However, I must give credit to the nighttime entertainment, which was all things Buffett.

At night, the theater hosts "Tales from Margaritaville: Jimmy's Ship Show," a musical production filled with back-to-back Buffett hits and just enough dialogue to move the show along.

As I looked around, I noticed fans delightfully singing along the entire show, a wholesome sight to see.

But as someone who could only name one Buffett song off the top of their head, I spent most of the show trying not to feel seasick as the ship vigorously rocked.

Another note: Margaritaville at Sea Paradise is small compared to the mega cruise liners available today.

There were points in the night when I couldn't walk without losing my balance. Apologies to everyone I almost slammed into — I promise I didn't have that many margaritas.

As for the food, the lunch buffet was understandably as small as the ship.

It was nothing too gourmet or special but at least there was a pasta bar and carved meat section.

However, I can't say the same for my dinner at JWB Prime Steakhouse, which you might recognize from some on-land Margaritaville resorts. This meal was the highlight of my time aboard the ship.

JWB might be one of the best steakhouse dinners I've ever had, and that's coming from someone who doesn't often enjoy eating steak.

You'll have to pay a premium to dine at the restaurant.

But if you're craving an upscale steak dinner, it's the best (and maybe your only) option of all the other dining venues aboard the ship.

Besides bars, a nighttime show, and food, the Margaritaville at Sea Paradise has two small pools, including one adult-only option …

… a spa …

… and a mini fitness center to keep guests entertained at sea.

But it's not like you'll have days at sea to burn.

The vessel is only operating two-night sailings from Florida to the Grand Bahama island, so you won't find yourself with days of unoccupied time.

But in my opinion, two nights is more than enough time to spend on the Margaritaville at Sea Paradise.

"[Khosa] says the big guys don't need to worry about us because we're our biggest competitors," Kevin Sheehan Jr., Margaritaville at Sea's president, said during the ceremony. "But I will tell you: The big guys, take note. We're coming for you."

Maybe my points of comparison are unfair, but I'm inclined to agree with Khosa.

I've been on a handful of the "big guys'" new giant cruise ships like the Celebrity Cruises' Apex.

Source: Insider

And no other cruise ship I've been on has felt this old and less thematically cohesive.

I've visited enough Margaritaville properties to have a reasonable understanding of its inescapable strong branding and tropical laidback theme.

This branding is what makes Margaritaville stand out from other hospitality companies and it could've been the cruise ship's biggest sell.

After all, doesn't the laidback lifestyle Buffett croons about seem like a match made in heaven for a cruise line?

I wasn't expecting live parrots flying around or a visual scavenger hunt of hidden salt shakers.

But I was hoping for some additional decorations that conveyed "Margaritaville."

It felt like the company focused most of its refurbishment on a handful of areas …

… while simply slapping on a new sign and some references to Jimmy Buffett lyrics in the other spaces.

Sure there's some wallpaper of palm trees, bright green paint, a mosaic of a beach view by one of the bars, and lyrics painted on the wall.

But many of the common spaces didn't feel uniquely Margaritaville.

Instead, the Margaritaville at Sea Paradise, with all of its quality issues, felt as old as the original song.

I'm not an ardent "Parrothead" who grew up listening to Buffett so I would argue I am objectively qualified to give my final review: I probably won't take a cruise with Margaritaville at Sea Paradise again.

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